the personal site and blog of a geek named Nick

No surprise that we have more questions yet again on LOST, but when you talk about the questions a John Locke episode raises you know you are getting into deep water. Although there are more than a few questions I have going into the finale, here are a few ideas and questions after watching “Cabin Fever”.

Christian & Claire. Alright, so at this point the powers that be at LOST have said Christian is dead. So what gives, is Christian the island, Smokey, or something else entirely? If we had only seen Christian on the island since the crash I would say it was Smokey similar to how Yemi appeared to Eko. But now we’ve seen Christian, and Charlie for that matter, off the island. I’m still saying more than a dream or hallucination based on the other patient seeing Charlie in Santa Rosa, but Smokey has seemed bound to the island. So yeah, I don’t know.

And Claire? Yeah, she, if that was even her, is not in Kansas anymore. I don’t think she’s dead, not to say she won’t be by the end of the season, but something has happened to her and it’s a drastic something. Why else would the mother concerned with, above all else including her own well being, just leave her baby. Maybe she has seen things with Christian similar to how Locke “looked into the island” and Desmond had premonitions after her turned the failsafe. She may well know, or think she knows, that if she follows this path everything will seemingly work out at least for Aaron. I’m really not sure about this one, but it’s definitely going to be something to consider as we go along.

Horace Goodspeed. Definitely more than a dream, but to what extent. Seemingly the island or Jacob is trying to communicate with Locke. But he seems to be an “echo” because even while conversing with Locke he repeats the same task. Sensing the echo is possibly similar to Miles’ ability? And the infamous eye opening, indicating it’s time to wake up and pay attention, seems to say that we need to look closely at this interaction because there may be more to it than what we see on the surface. Additionally, because I’m of the mind these weird meetings of dead people on the island are somehow Smokey related, it only fueled my fire to see a steady stream of smoke in this scene.

Matthew Abaddon. Is he an Other, Dharma, or part of something else? With Whidmore? Perhaps, but I think he is going to turn out to be special like Walt. Maybe there are two sides recruiting these “specials” but that gets far fetched. Does he know that if Locke goes to Australia he’ll find the island? Maybe similar to how Claire’s psychic, after telling her that she had to raise Aaron was okay with her going to LA - because he knew that Claire would presumably never make it to LA? If he does know this, if he does have some precognitive ability working for him, why does he go to Hurley to ask about the island and those left behind in the future?

And since we’re on the subject I have a way, WAY out in left field theory. What if Abaddon is Walt? It would be very cool to see that Walt puts Locke on his path after John helps Walt be okay with being “special”.

Richard Alpert. So many questions. Let’s start with the first and most obvious, can we all now agree this guy doesn’t age? The how and why are potentially easy enough to explain with the time-warping properties of the island. While I’m not ready to say he’s immortal, time doesn’t pass the same for him as it does others. And it also may not pass the same for people who have learned the island’s deeper secrets. This could have been alluded to when Ben said to Alpert, “You do remember birthdays, don’t you?” This could be in relation to their community being outside the modern world and there isn’t a big emphasis on them, but a line like that doesn’t just get dropped into this show without bigger meaning. But let’s look more into what happened with Richard tonight.

Why was Richard okay with John choosing the sand and the compass, but not the knife? If we are looking for items John owns, it’s easy to say that John wouldn’t own any of those things yet. So are we looking at a reincarnation theme of what he has owned? Or is it that Richard is looking to see whether or not John sees his destiny? That would point to his happiness with John claiming the sand and the compass - the sand claiming the island itself, and we all know John will be more than able to use a compass but maybe more that John sees himself as one to find the course and follow it. So this brings us to the dilemma between the knife and the book. I really think it points to what John identifies himself with more than what he owns. This explains why Richard is visibly shaken by the choice of the knife - it points to John’s tenure of leadership would be a time of violence or unrest, but if he had picked the Book of Laws it would point to a time of peace and harmony. Maybe Richard knows that it’s not an issue of if John will lead the island, but when. Because of this he says John is not ready, not that he made the wrong choice - it’s not that John isn’t ready, but maybe Richard isn’t.

Move the island. Wait, MOVE THE ISLAND?!? At first you are thinking they are going to physically move the island to another location on the planet. I don’t think so, first because it’s too obvious for LOST if that’s a good enough reason. But second you have to deal with the underwater station and the cable running to the island. That could be answered with how big of scope the move will be, but still I don’t think so. After everything we’ve seen this season the next thought is straight sci-fi in that maybe they’ll move it in time. But I have to lean away from that because the producers have said on numerous occasions that they’ll be avoiding the time travel paradoxes. And also, I certainly think they outlined how they would handle the time traveling in “The Constant”, as the person’s consciousness moving in their time but not the whole of the person moving in all of time. So what does that leave us? I’m going with the coordinates by which you have to come and go. Which this opens up all sorts of questions, but I think from what we’ve seen and heard this makes the most sense. From some coordinates you are a little ahead or behind, from others you may be more so. But what if from some coordinates you could look all you wanted, but never find the island. This could tie back to the islands magnetic properties and why the island was visible for a brief time when Desmond turned the failsafe. Maybe the hatch was a means of controlling, but if all went south the Orchid could be the last line of defense of the island so to speak where a little bit of all the islands secrets were kept.

This season has brought so many possibilities to the who, how, why and what of LOST that what all this show is going to encompass is just out of reach. Like everything else on LOST, all these questions and ideas are just part of the bigger picture that is LOST. I hope we get at least a glimpse of how some of these threads tie into one another in the upcoming finale. We know we are in the home stretch now and that answers are going to come more quickly and seemingly more quickly, but even as we draw closer to the end of LOST it seems every answer still brings two more questions. Here’s looking to “There’s No Place Like Home”.

So I have a thought or two going into tonight’s episode of LOST that leaves me with a few questions. From what I’ve seen in previews and read on the internets we are getting a Locke flashback episode that deals with him being special and the quest for Jacob’s Cabin.

My first question comes from “Next time on LOST…” after last week’s episode when Dharma-dressed guy says, “I’m not making any sense, am I… that’s probably because I’ve been dead for 12 years.” After a little bit of internet assisted research we know it’s Horace Goodspeed who helped our Ben’s parents when his mother was in labor and subsequently got Ben and Mr. Workman to the island. So from his own statement we presume he did in fact die during the Purge. Now, we can consider the possibility TPTB are pulling a fast one much like Hurley’s, “we’re all going to die”, from a few weeks back and it will turn out ol’ Horace somehow survived the Purge. This could have come about by him either having joined the Hostiles or else having been in the right place at the right time not to fall victim to the Purge - off island, perhaps. But let’s presume for now that he is, as he describes himself, dead for the past 12 years. With this in mind, I also think back to the producers having said on more than one occasion that when people die on this island they are dead and not coming back. So what gives? This brings me to thought number two.

What gives with Christian Shephard? Jack has seen him on island before and after last week we know he has seen him off island. From last year’s season finale there is a hint that Jack may still see him, even if only Jack sees him, even farther into the future. Now we have Claire not only seeing Christian, but interacting with him to the point she follows him into the jungle. (And both his children see him dressed differently - the way they last saw him or the way they remember him?) Add this to the fact that when Hurley glimpsed into Jacob’s cabin we see Christian, dressed the same way Jack sees him, not as Claire does, just sitting in the cabin. Now a great point of debate is whether or not Christian is really dead, I want to believe that he is not but all logic points the fact that he is. We saw him in the morgue - dead. But the coffin was empty on the island. Which, that is easily explained by the fact the plane crashed - but we don’t see big things like that on this show for no reason so it makes you wonder. Plus, knowing all we know about Hanso, Whidmore, Dharma, and even Ben, is it that hard to believe they can fake a dead Christian Shephard?

So I guess my two thoughts lead me to the question: What gives with the alive dead people if dead people on this show are dead for good? That was a brain twister. So we have seen visions on the island that people have interacted with both of people and animals. Kate’s horse, Hurley and Dave, Mr. Eko and Yemi, but we don’t know exactly what they all were. It’s easy to say Dave was a hallucination Hurley had in the past simply come back to visit and not the island communicating with him in some way. I don’t neccesarily think this is true for Kate, although we don’t know if was just a hallucination, the island, or even Smokey. Which brings us to Mr. Eko and his vision and interaction with what he thought was Yemi, but in fact turned out to be Smokey. And, what prompted Smokey to attack Eko when it had judged him and let him be once before? To take it a step farther Hurley is having visions of Charlie off the island, very specific and very cryptic visions. But we have reason to believe that at least the conversations are more than a hallucination as another patient notices Charlie as well. So what are we dealing with here? Is the island alive or just special similar to the location in Australia? Is it like Miles and able to channel the essence of the dead? But that would mean with Hurley’s vision of Charlie at the mental hospital, that the island reaches much farther than it’s physical borders. I’m starting to think that Smokey is the island manifesting itself whether for direct communication or protection, but that it is somehow part of the island and can shape itself to the island’s needs and even potentially reach off the island if need be. All of this is well within reach on this show, but where are we going to land with this one is going to be interesting.

So finally, if we consider that Claire seeing Christian is similar to Eko seeing Yemi, and now she’s followed into the jungle it opens things up. Especially when tonight we’ll see three special people on the island trying to find Jacob in a place we’ve recently seen Christian. This all gets very exciting and interesting. I’m hoping we get some clarity on what these visions are and mean to both the characters and the overall show.

When will we know who the Democratic nominee is? Is this really going to be drawn out all the way to the convention? Although I have typically found myself on the other side of the aisle when previously voting, I do have a preference of the Democrats. But at this point I just want a nominee so we can get things back to the way they should be with the parties bickering and bad mouthing one another instead of themselves.

On an entertainment note I’ve recently started watching Battlestar Galactica in earnest and just finished up Season 1. Very good stuff. Since I don’t mind spoilers and have seen episodes out of order here and there, I decided to watch the pre-Season 4 catch up on SciFi.com called, “What the Frak is Going On?” (Apparently the primer was done by the same people and in the same style as the recent “Lost in 8:15″ pre-season primer so if you liked one, the other should be equally as enjoyable.) But when talking about the Helo and Boomer baby and dropped the line, “there’s a bun in the toaster”, I laughed out loud for a solid minute.

In more entertainment related news I think I hated LOST more tonight than I did when the closing “thud” sounded on The Constant earlier this season. In fact this episode tonight may have run the gambit of thoughts and emotions more than any other. Spoilers lie ahead to proceed with caution… But to have a guy that you love to hate, and see these glimpses of hope and redemption that give you hope for him, only to have your thoughts and expectations about what will come next splattered against the side wall by something you never saw coming and reconstructed into something that leaves you sitting on the edge of your couch wondering how it happened, can you really believe it, and how in the world will this play out. (Please forgive the run on) He’s got this puppy love crush on Juliet, but can’t deal with someone else having her even if he can’t. Directly causes the death of, if not his daughter, the girl he raised from infancy. And when finally comes face to face with the man that changed the entire shape of the last three seasons of LOST, the man that he seemingly been at war with for years, the man he blames for the death of maybe the only person he has ever loved - when asked if he was here to kill, Ben responds, “You know I can’t do that.” WHAT?!? Just about every episode this season my first words after the closing “thud” have been, “I hate this show.” To which laughs and then grins at me knowing that the next day will be filled with obsessive pouring over Lostpedia, forums, and blogs about what I missed, what it all means, and where in the world we are headed in this journey of LOST.

Daily life is managing to fill up with more junk than I would want to deal with in a given month. I’m tired and I feel like I’m spinning my wheels no matter where I focus my efforts. Here’s to lower gas prices and making progress in our daily pursuits.

So Nick’s predictions were busted wide open. I really didn’t think things would stack up anywhere near the way they did. At the start of the day I was thinking something along these lines:

Democrats:

1. Obama
2. Clinton
3. Edwards

Republicans:

1. Romney
2. Giuliani
3. McCain
4. Huckabee

Starting with the Democrats, I never really saw Edwards as a contender against Obama and Clinton. I don’t know what it it about him, but the other two just seem to exude a stronger sense of leadership that people can really grasp and believe in. And I really did think Obama would have another significant win over Clinton and if not a win, only Clinton by a small margin. I think there are a lot of people that remember the former Clinton and are wary to revisit the family in the White House. But more than that Obama seems like that candidate that everyone wants, a candidate some people would even cross party lines for. He’s running on a campaign of a change, and it has seemed people believed he could bring the change they were looking for. It’s no secret that people are ready for a change from Bush, and I think that has fueled a desire for a “real” candidate and not just another politician. Which is definitely something Obama exudes and something that hadn’t been seen in Clinton until her recent, and very uncharacteristic, show of emotion.

Now the Republicans and this one was tougher. I was always skeptical of Huckabee’s win in Iowa, and that’s not to say I thought Romney would come out on top in either race, but just that I didn’t think it was going to be Huckabee in Iowa, let alone New Hampshire. In the Democratic campaign, it’s seem to have been a two candidate race for a while. But very much to the contrary in the Republican race, there isn’t close to feeling of who are the Big Two or Big Three. Not long ago I was sure Guiliani would be more of a factor farther in, and while I didn’t think he was done by any means I thought McCain’s standing would more resemble Edwards standing on the Democratic side. I wasn’t sure where they were in the top 3, I just thought I knew who the top 3 were.

So after Iowa and New Hampshire it seems that the Democratic race is now a two candidate contest and I think the Republican race is really shaken up. I still think that when it’s all said and done, people on both sides of the aisle can get behind Obama and his campaign; that people are ready for a change, and part of that change is away from the normal politics which Clinton often time seems to embody. As for the Republican race, I’m not willing to count anyone out. While I think Guiliani may be too liberal for the majority of the Republican party, I also think that former ministers may not quite be what people are looking for. That really opens it up for McCain to step into the gap and balance each side out, emerging as a front runner which is exactly that I think we saw happen.

This is one of the first times I’ve had such an interest in all this so early on. I was interested at election time in ‘04 and following all the drama in ‘00, but never at a primary level. Not to mention having recently been hooked on West Wing and the finale season following a candidate on the campaign trail, it’s been really interesting seeing this process and places you watched in fiction play out in real life. It’s going to be an exciting year.

It’s a funny thing how, if you’re not paying attention, you can stop at some point along the way and find yourself a little unsure of where you are and exactly how you got here but in the same thought feel right at home. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that Maggie’s not just arriving in our lives and Lisa and I aren’t still virtually newlyweds. But at the same time I can’t imagine another day in my life without either of them in it. But there’s no way I’ve been married for five years, and there is just no way Maggie is three, but here we are.

Just two weeks ago we were getting ready for Christmas and to close on our house in just a few short days. But even that seems so far away now. Christmas came and went, along with New Year’s, both bringing their own good times with friends and family. All went better than we could have hoped with the closing and the apartment and it feels almost as much like home as the house. But sometimes I still wonder how we got here, but in the next thought it’s the way things should be.

It’s a strange set of thoughts and emotions and as is apparent I’m having difficulty putting them all in their place to be dissected, examined, and understood. I guess sometimes I wonder what happened to my life, but at the same time I couldn’t be happier with the life I have. But the thinking about where it’s gone leaves me both depressed and frustrated at times. It feels like I should have done more, been farther along, or have more to show for who I am and where I’ve been and I don’t know if that is just a desire to keep up with the Jones’ (although we’ve never met) or if it is really who and what I want to be. But I guess at the end of the day it leaves me just feeling off focus, which is exactly where I am now. I’ve got a to-do list with things to accomplish that go back years, and that makes it hard sometimes to get through what can get done today. You start thinking about what was or what could have been and all of a sudden you are no longer in the present, but then something brings the present rushing back and you’re left thinking that if you had just taken the time or been focused and/or disciplined enough when you had the time or the resource the first time, you’d be ready or not even dealing with what’s come up now. But you have to live in the present; take what’s there is to do and find what you can do today and do that, and then tomorrow do what you can, and at the end of the day be able to lay down your head knowing that you’ve done what you could and take pride in your accomplishments. But sometimes it’s hard when there are just so many things to do and so many people looking to you to feel like you’ve done anything worthwhile and it takes the wind out of your sails to really even try the next day. You think, “Well, today was a wash and I’ve got to catch up from that before I can even start on today.” And while it’s manageable tomorrow, it doesn’t take long before you feel buried without a way out, that no matter what you do or how much you try there is going to be someone who depends on you, someone you’d never want to let down who gets just that.

I guess at the end of the day there is the person I feel like I am and then there is the person I want to be. And while there are a lot of areas in which I find myself not far off from that person, there are definitely some things that don’t match up. Where I find myself now is trying to reconcile getting done what I can today, and leaving for tomorrow what can only be done tomorrow while at the same time not letting the past overwhelm, but motivate me towards meeting those goals in the future. Realizing that yes, there are a lot of things that could have been or should have been, but I’ve done all I can. There may still be more mistakes than I’d like to admit but no longer will I let the mistakes define my present, but only serve to remind me of how it feels to lose yourself to the past and miss life in the present. I think at the end of the day the thing I just might need most is patience, and when I say patience I think I also mean faith as well. Because when I start to think of where I’m not, I get depressed because of how much farther along I could or should be and again, it takes me out of the present life I have to live and I find myself lost in my own life it seems. But if I can find the faith to, in each day, have the patience to live that day the fullest I can, accomplishing what I can, and not look ahead to where I could or think I should be, as well as not look back to mistakes or missteps I’ll find myself happier with each day at the end of it.

I’m of the mind that if things are worth something to you, they often times have to be worked for and I don’t think that makes them burdens, I think it says they have a value to you. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful life and I want to make the most of every bit of it that I can. Tomorrow will bring with it new challenges as well as old baggage, but all you can worry about is what can be done with that day. And in the days ahead as you strive more for the person you want to be, doing all you can to make the most of each day, less and less baggage from the past will be there to hold you down and you’re able more and more to look and see the blessings both around you and up ahead. Then when you look back instead of finding regret and depression, you’ll find determination and faith now knowing where you’ve come from and what you have pressed through, you’ll know that there is faith for what struggles lie ahead so that each new day not be met with apprehension, but hope.

I’ve been meaning to post this sooner, but this is a great video from singer-songwriter John Crawford about the adventures of bedtime with children. I first heard this song on the TWiT netcast Jumping Monkeys and couldn’t stop laughing hearing it. Watching the video just adds to that, but will also find a special place in the heart of any parent. Enjoy!

I have now been married to the most amazing woman in the world for five years. Five years! My life has never been as good as it is right now. You’ve given me a wonderful life and a beautiful daughter, I love you more than my life. It will only get better from here…

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed  to the  first grade.  The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! “You need to use ‘Big People’ words,” she was always reminding  them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. ”I went to visit my Nana.”

“No, you went to visit your  GRANDMOTHER! Use ‘Big People’ words!”

She then asked Mitchell what he had done “I took a ride on a  choo-choo.”

She said “No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use ‘Big People’ words.”

She then asked little Alec what he had done. “I read a book,” he replied.

“That’s WONDERFUL!” the teacher said. “What book did you read?” Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, “Winnie the SH–.”

In recent weeks it has become unsurprising to come home and find Lisa, my wonderful not typically a big game playing wife, will be sitting on the couch playing Zuma on my 360. When I first talked her into trying out some XBLA titles I was just hoping to find a game she liked enough to start up a fun little competition with, not reason enough to buy another 360. While I’m obviously over exagerrating about another console she has wracked enough points on account to warrant her own gamertag.

For about the last two weeks I’ve been trying to find a copy of “Invincible” on DVD at a local movie rental locale. That’s an off the wall intro, but it’s what I could come up with. There were a couple of the normal previews, some interesting and others just, “eh”. Then I saw clip reel of Disney flicks that you’ll sometime catch of studios self-advertising and I started to notice the word “blue” appear consistently. It was then I realized it wasn’t a studio advertisement, but an announcement to the uninitiated of the next-gen disc format that Disney had chosen in Blu-ray.

Personally if I had to choose a format I really don’t know which one I’d go with. I’m a lot more interested in high-def now, having played the same 360 game at home on the old 32-inch and then on the high-def screen at Best Buy. It’s just amazing the picture clarity and brilliance of color you have with high-def, after all it is high definition. But at the same time having DVR and using a Netflix/Blockbuster service I think I’m more interested in IPTV than either of the high-def formats. It’s just cool that right now I can jump on my 360 and download a number of movies or TV shows. I do have to admit though, that I can watch the Transformers trailer in 720p over and over and never get tired of it. (I can’t say that isn’t a little of the kid in me screaming, “That’s so cool!”)

Yeah, that wasn’t much of a commitment either way, the ad just got me thinking. But I say if we have to have a new disc format, and I can’t say that it wouldn’t be nice, that we need to make a longer lasting, higher capacity disc. But for video let’s concentrate on DRM-free HD VOD aka “if I buy it, I own it” high-definition video/movies on demand. Sorry, but I couldn’t resist the acronym soup.